The Power of Being Alone
I remember as a little boy I’ve always enjoyed being alone. Even though I had 2 brothers and sisters I always found time and space to be alone with myself. It never bothered me. I even used to eat lunch by myself in the school cafeteria and I was a fairly popular guy.
But this is not true for some people. In fact, most people turn to social media or some other form of communication in order to feel connected to others. Why do we do this and what are the benefits and lessons to be learned while you’re alone?
First off, why do we seek connection from other humans and even animals? Shit, some of us even hug trees. I’m on my way (haha). The reason we all seek connection and approval from others is because we all came from the same place, and we are all, at our deepest essence, one in the same.
In the beginning we were all spirit, spirits of light. Spirits floating around the vast universe experiencing nothing but love. But I believe since the only thing we were experiencing was love we began to wander what it was like to experience other things.
Such as different emotions, feelings, experiences and thoughts. Now it’s our job to come back to our natural state and re-member our true nature such as love. Nothing exists without love. Our mind just tends to tell us otherwise.
This is why we seek connection. Because it is familiar. Because it is true. Because we are all one in the same.
That thing we all agreed to experience is that little fella called the ego.
Speaking of the ego and the nature of being alone, here are some benefits I’ve personally experienced while learning about myself and that damn voice inside my hectic yet beautiful mind.
Lesson 1: You are divine spirit inside a human body.
As I was alone with my thoughts after my divorce at the age of 33, I began to ask myself questions such as “Why did this happen? What is the point of this experience and what can I learn from it”? Why am I experiencing so much pain?”
Then the next and life changing question came to me, “Why was I born?” I’ve never asked myself that question before. Have you? I now realize that these are the types of questions an individual asks themselves as they begin to awaken, spiritually I mean.
But I will give you a fair warning. If you are involved in some type of religious group, were raised a certain way and you have lived your entire life believing certain things that have been hammered into your mind, it is going to be extremely difficult for you to awaken and break free from the chains of your beliefs. Just know this, beliefs are just thoughts. Thoughts that you have told yourself over and over again until they became engraved in your being.
Lesson 2: You are not your thoughts.
Every thought you have comes from somewhere. Where? Well my friends, it comes from you. Not your mind, but the source within you which is divine light, spirit, or consciousness.
At this core, which is the truth for all living beings, (including your dog or cat) we are the same. Some of us are just operating on different channels, different frequencies, or different levels of awareness or consciousness.
Lesson 3: You are perfect just the way you are.
After my divorce and a few heartbreaks within the next few years my sense of self worth was at an all time low. My lack of self-esteem, lack of confidence and just walking around unsure and unhappy had become a daily habit.
Luckily, being raised as an athlete and always having a certain amount of discipline regarding health, I began to research natural remedies for my depression and lack of self love.
That’s when I found meditation. The power of ones breath is probably the most overlooked aspect of what it means to be human. Not only does meditation slow down the aging process, prevent future dis-ease, but it teaches you that you are not those negative thoughts that sometimes never seem to stop.
As a person begins to watch and observe their thoughts they quickly begin to set themselves free from the prison of their mind. Once a person completely understands that they are not the voice in the head which is the ego, then their transformation has begun. Their butterfly wings are beginning to emerge from the caterpillars cocoon.
Once a person truly realizes that at the depth of their being that they are pure absolute love, then they have connected with the source of god. That’s you my friend, perfect just the way you are in this very moment as you read this.
Lesson 4: You find Yourself.
For most people being alone is a very difficult and unpleasant experience. Why is this? Well my beautiful friends, it’s because that damn voice inside the head likes to run his little mouth. Kind of like my ex-wife (kidding Amy).
As you begin to get to know and understand the ego which lies within, you start to realize a few things about yourself. And for the most part, at first anyways, you don’t always like what you see.
In my opinion, this is the reason why we judge other people so easily and so frequently. Most people have never sitten down and judged themselves. If they did, they would be extremely careful as to who they themselves are judging.
But, over time and with extreme compassion and patience for oneself, the voice tends to become more gentle. More gentle regarding ourselves, and especially more understanding toward others. We begin to understand the depths of ourselves and begin to understand the depths of others.
Lesson 5: Being alone is a lot of fun.
There is nothing worse and more heartbreaking to me then to witness myself or others wearing a social mask. I was guilty of this most of my adult life and honestly so are most other people. This is because we don’t fully understand what we are.
But, as a person learns to get comfortable with being alone and develops so much self love and compassion for themselves, being alone becomes a very fun time.
The act of putting on a show goes away and you begin to open up and free yourself. You begin to find yourself and experience yourself as the beautiful soul that you are.
You are no longer afraid to be yourself in public or even afraid to be yourself in private. The judgements you used to have against yourself and others are mostly gone, and joy, gratitude and humility have taken over. Your natural state has arrived and the child within you has found his way back to truth.
As I wrap this blog post up I just want to send a reminder to any of you out there who may struggle with self love or lack of self-esteem. Always remember, that you are never truly alone. There is always an angel on your shoulder watching over you. And just maybe one day, you will become that angel for yourself, and for others.
Humbly written by Chris McDaniel